Messianic Congregation Shema Yisrael Boise Idaho Article How are believers like a bowl of porridge??
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How are believers like a bowl of porridge?
By James Pyles
Have you ever experienced times in your life where you were "just right" with G-d? I mean, times when you had an almost overwhelming sense of connection with the Creator of the Universe and could feel his mercy and love? Yes? So have I. Were you able to stay inside that moment with G-d for a few minutes...maybe an hour...did it last all day? No? You're not alone.
That's the scary part, at least for me. When I'm there, I want to stay there forever; I want to pay attention to nothing else but that sense of relationship with my Maker; with my High Priest and Master, Yeshua. Problem is (maybe it's not a problem but I'll go into that later), I happened to be at work when I experienced Him. I was listening to a Paul Wilbur CD as I pounded away at my computer keyboard and my mind was on this trouble and that. I decided to let the troubles go and to trust in him. When I did, just at that moment, He was with me. I don't mean a physical presence, as if He were sitting next to me, but there was a definite connection. I smiled and teared up a bit. I remember actually thinking "You really make me believe in miracles".
Yes, I believe in G-d's miracles always...at least intellectually, but there's a difference between knowing and knowing if you take my meaning. I don't always feel that connection. My faith isn't always that strong (sad to say). That's what scares me. I absolutely need G-d to live and to live the way He wants me to. I can't do it alone. Left to my own will, I will always drop the ball and fail, sometimes disastrously.
What scares me more is that the Almighty placed me in a position of responsibility in my congregation. We're a small group of believers but I still feel the struggle to maintain humility when people complement what I've said or done. I keep reminding them (and me) that it has relatively nothing to do with me and everything to do with Him. I say "relatively" because I don't believe G-d created people (me or anyone else) to be hollow, plastic tubes that he simply acts through without our knowledge or consent. You don't love a hollow tube and a hollow tube can't love and praise our G-d. We were created to be His children and servants and disciples. He always gives me a choice whether I will let myself be used by Him. A plastic tube has no free will...if you want to use it, use it. That said, I don't always say "Yes" to G-d.
Terrible admission? Yes...not just for me, though. Thanks to our sin nature if nothing else, we all sometimes say "No" to Him, crazy as that may sound. That's what scares me. The option to say "No". When I'm inside that connection with Him I mentioned earlier, I don't say "No". Just being there is worth practically anything that could ever happen to me. I don't worry about where my next meal is coming from or any of the other practicalities of life. I do worry though. I worry about what I'll do when I have to let that connection slip away.
After all, when I'm at work, I can't simply be still and concentrate on my L-rd moment by moment, second by second. I have work to do. There's that conference call I'll have to join in 30 minutes, or my Project Manager will come up to me and ask about some detail of the work I'm doing. G-d put us in a practical world and here we are...practical distractions and all. So how do we stay "just right", even at those moments (or minutes or hours) when we need to stay focused on the work He gave us to do to support our families? Is there something in the Bible that answers this question?
I keep thinking about the woman with the issue of blood (Matthew: 9:20-22). She had been bleeding for 12 years with no end in sight. Yet, as she saw Yeshua making his way through the crowd she thought "If I can only touch his robe, I will be healed". After all was said in done, Yeshua told her "Courage, daughter! Your trust has healed you". In the moment that she touched the Master's tzitzit, she had complete faith that if she could just make contact, she would be healed. Yeshua didn't even know what happened. He felt "power go out of Him", but he hadn't directly willed that power to go out or determined what it was supposed to do. The woman's faith did that. That's what our faith does for us. That's our role and portion in the supernatural relationship with G-d...to have faith.
The Bible doesn't say if she maintained that level and intensity of faith 24/7 for the rest of her life. We know from our own experience that she probably did not. Whatever was going on in her life probably took over every now and again and faith waned and waxed. Does that mean the minute her faith began to waiver or she was distracted by day-to-day practicalities that she became "unhealed". Again, the Bible is silent about the rest of her life but I'm willing to believe her healing was permanent. How many times did the Master heal someone and then say "Go and sin no more". Does that mean these beneficiaries of Yeshua's miracles literally never sinned again? Probably not.
Do what does it mean? How do we face the times after a touch by our G-d (or after we touch his "robe") when we feel so ordinary again? I suppose it's related to the concept of repentance. Every time we slip outside that touch, we long to reconnect. It's our striving to continue to go to Him, to reach Him, to journey with Him and to be with Him. It's not perfect. It won't be, until He comes back and lives with us again.
I'm reminded of Parashat Beha'aloscha and specifically Numbers 9:18-23 which says in part, "According to the word of HaShem would they encamp, and according to the word of HaShem they would journey (9:23)". On the one hand, it would be easy to say that all we really need is what the Children of Israel had in the wilderness; a cloud by day and a fire by night to follow. Of course, that hardly kept them from sinning so I doubt that it would keep us from sinning, either. We are commanded to follow whether we see or not. Heck, we should want to follow, whether we see (or feel) or not. When we can feel that connection it's easier than when we can't (or won't), but even when we don't perceive, He is still there.
There are two directions we can take when we feel ourselves outside that connection, especially for those of us who have been given a responsibility: We can feel so unworthy that we fail to act, or we can over estimate how much of our responsibilities are because of our efforts and diminish His role. Either action is really the same thing...paying too much attention to ourselves (or myself) and not enough to Him.
In the old fairy tale, Goldilocks had three choices when she was sampling the porridge; too hot, too cold, and just right. Sometimes we're too hot (too full of our own ego) and sometimes we're too cold (too lacking in faith and too full of our insecurities). Just right means standing with Him in our day to day lives...sometimes we can pause and let ourselves truly enjoy our moments with Him. It's like watching the cloud rise from the Mishkan (Tabernacle) or descend upon the Mishkan. You know when it's time to follow Him on the journey and when it's time to rest with Him.
For much of our day-to-day lives, we need to be about the practical business He has given us. Never doubt though that even if we can't stay consciously focused on Him every single second of each day, He has no such limits. He is "just right" all of the time. He is the cloud who watches us and leads us through our "wilderness". Our job is to keep our eyes on Him when we journey. When the cloud descends and we sit down to rest and there are three bowls of porridge in front of us, our job is to pick "just right".
